It’s so heartbreaking for me to see that he left me.. with some other guy. I still respect him even when we’re talking about his sexuality. I still like him even if he likes both gender. I just want to get closure- something that doesn’t leave me hanging. I get paranoiac because of you.. How could you? How could I? I feel like a dumb bitch who’s roaming in depths of nowhere. I just want to get out of that stage, please?
He didn’t really like you. He used you.
Minsan, gusto mong iparamdam sa kanya na mahal na mahal mo siya at siya ang dahilan kung bakit ka masaya ngunit hindi maari. May mga pagkakataon na gusto mo siyang makasama at makita ngunit hindi pwede. May mga pagkakataon na ang tangi mo na lamang magagawa ay umupo sa isang tabi at umiyak dahil wala kang magawa para makasama siya. Maiisip mo na lang na ang unfair ng mundo dahil pinaglalayo kayo at pinagkakaitan ng pagkatataon para magkita. Kung bakit sa dinami rami ng tao, kayo pa ang nakakaranas ng pagiging malayo. Masakit, kasi limitado ang oras na maaring igugol sa isa’t isa. Mahirap, kasi sa araw-araw na ginawa ng Diyos, hindi mo siya nakikita. Ngunit sa kabila ng lahat ng sakit na nararamdaman, kailangan mong maging matatag dahil darating din ang araw na ang mga kulang ay mapupunan, mapupuno ng pagmamahalan at walang katapusang kaligayahan.
Sorry for not being active this past few weeks..
Been very busy and my personal problems are consuming me up. So yeah, I’ll get back as soon as I straighten things up. :)
REALTALK: Pag nagreply pa rin yung tao sa “K” at “Haha” mo, mahalaga ka sa taong yun.
I need someone who’s willing to stay in my life. I need someone who’s willing to look over me and accept me as a person — including my negative perception in life, my multiple personalities, imperfection. I need someone to be different, someone who won’t leave me — someone who won’t judge me because of the things they heard and they’ve witnessed. I need someone who won’t walk out on me like everyone else. Someone who’s willing to accept all of my flaws and tell me I’m beautiful, someone who’s going to be there for me through thick and thin. I need someone who’s willing to listen to my dilemmas, doubts, over thinking, complains and look me direct into my eyes and tell me everything’s going to be okay, even when he know it’s not. I need someone who won’t make me think that everything I believe in is complete and utter bullshit, someone who supports me and makes me move in the right direction. I need someone to guide me to a path that will help my future, even when they know my future is going to be a living hell. I need someone who won’t yell at me or make me cry and tell me that I’m too hard to handle. I just want someone to be there for me when I have no one. I need someone’s shoulder to cry on and I just need someone to rely on. I just need someone who won’t leave me when I pushed him away. Someone who won’t give up on me like everybody else does. I need someone whom I can lean to, because honestly? I am tired of being the one leaned on, being the one to do such things that I must be experiencing. I am tired of being myself. I am tired of loving myself. I need someone to love me when I forget to love myself.
You can love someone, but it doesn’t mean they’re gonna love you back.
In the beginning of every relationship, we all get too excited. Each day, there’s always something to look forward to. New love, new relationship and new beginnings. All is good. Everything is fine. We feel happy and wonderful. Everything seems to fall into place perfectly. We become romanticist. We like to believe that forever exists. We don’t get sick in listening to love songs. We get to think of the cheesiest pickup lines. We don’t get tired of texting, calling and seeing that same person. We even think of him/her while she’s/he’s away. That’s how we are during the first part of the relationship. Love is truly in the air.
Of course, there are problems coming along the way but since the relationship has just started, perhaps we feel positive about it. We strongly believe that everything is going to be all right. We try to prolong our patience and widen our understanding. We do our best to fix the damages. We fight so hard and try to win the battle no matter what it takes. Why? Because we wanted that relationship so much. We don’t want to just throw it away.
Yet, not all the time we succeeded. The recurrence of problems somehow made us think that maybe the relationship needs to have an end already. Not because we don’t want that relationship anymore but because we get tired of everything. We get tired of fixing things that we think will never be fixed anymore. Sometimes, it is not also because we don’t want that person in our lives. Sometimes, we still love them but being with them just worsen things. Those wounds seem to hurt again whenever you are together. That’s probably complicated. You still love that person and you still want that relationship but then you know there is a problem. Even if you act as if there is nothing wrong, at the end of the day you know that you are just making yourself believe of something that is not true. You know that the relationship you have is not that happy and perfect as it was before. That’s the sad thing. The hardest part is deciding whether to continue or give up.
Meron pa bang lalaking…
- Yayakapin ka sa tuwing nagtatampo ka. Hindi sasabayan yung galit mo, instead lalambingin ka niya para magkaayos kayo.
- Itetext ka ng good morning messages, random long messages. Yun bang tipong masusurpresa ka dahil hindi mo ineexpect yung messages galing sa kanya.
- Magjojoke ng corny mapasaya ka lang. Odi kaya bibigyan ka ng pick-up lines na kahit korni, kikiligin ka naman.
- Matatakbuhan mo sa tuwing may problema ka.
- Ikikiss ka sa noo as a sign of respect sa’yo.
- Hahawakan palagi yung kamay mo kahit maraming tao at pasmado.
- Ipapakilala ka sa buong angkan nila.
- Seloso pero alam na siya lang naman ang mahal mo.
- Lalaking pinaplano yung future niyo.
- Lalaking magpapakababa ng pride para sa’yo.
- Magtatampo kapag ang ikli o ang masyadong showy ng suot mo.
- Over protective sa’yo.
- Magagalit sa mga simpleng bagay pero malalambing mo naman agad.
- Mapansurprise, yung tipong kikiligin ka kasi lagi siyang merong surprise sa’yo. Makikita mo talaga yung effort sa kanya.
- Hindi hahayaang masaktan, magselos, magtampo o mabalewala man lang. Iintindihin ka niya lagi at hindi niya hahayaang magkaaway kayong dalawa.
- Hindi ka iiwan kahit kailan.
- Mamahalin ka ng ikaw lang, walang kalandiang iba, walang ibang crush, walang ibang pinapangarap. Ikaw lang at walang iba.
Meron pa ba? May natitira pa bang taong papanindigan lahat ng sinasabi niya? Meron pa bang taong magiging sandigan, sandalan at takbuhan mo sa tuwing may problema ka? Meron pa bang taong nagmamahal ng tapat? Oo, marami pa. Makakahanap naman tayong lahat ng taong makakasama natin sa habangbuhay hindi ba? Tiwala lang. Wag kasing magmadali. :)
Her name is Angelica, but they call her Aica. 15 years of existence. A dreamer who wants to explore the world. She learned that she can't demand love from anyone. She like cartoons, anime, comics and such; call her a geek or a nerd but that’s her. She draw, write and read. She honestly can’t say she have found direction in her life but hey, being a lost soul on a journey to find one’s self is what she is right now. And she's enjoying every moment of it. Since she still don’t have a solid direction, what does it matter which road she take? It’s just like what the Cheshire cat says. I’m just going to enjoy whatever comes my way.
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